Dreams

Am I the only one who can't stand dreams? 

Ever since surgery my dreams have been strange. Beyond strange. They are random, scary, confusing and heart breaking. I'm use to have terrible nightmares after surgery, now not so much. But damn, I'd give anything to have those nightmares back. Anything is better then the dream I had last night. 

Last night I dreamed of being pregnant and having a beautiful baby girl.

Something I know will never happen. 

And it's heart breaking!

Why must my dreams tease me?

This isn't the first time I've had dreams of being pregnant and having babies. I've had quite a lot. And it hurts each time. To dream of having that beautiful baby, feeling the love of a mother and her child. Then waking up and its all torn away. It sucks. 

This is the first time I've had a girl in my dreams, it's usually always a boy. My Shawn David. 

I can't decide if it hurts more or less.

Probably the same.