Friday, February 22, 2013

A Promise Left Unkept

It's not that I didn't want to keep it, because boy did I. I would have loved to keep it. But I didn't get to.

 -Kylie and I-

I've mentioned Kylie on here once or twice before. I loved to visit Kylie when I was in town for my appointments. She had a beautiful smile, sass that could fill a room and contagious giggles. The first time I visited Kylie I was made to make a promise. A promise to come back the very next day after I had my "lub-a-dub" checked out. Lub-a-dub was what Kylie called her heart. Kylie was patiently awaiting a new lub-a-dub (heart transplant). So as promised I went back the next day. And we compared out stickies because I was wearing a 30 day event monitor. 

 -Kylie and I comparing stickies-

Those two visits were fun. We laughed a lot. Kylie thought it was so funny that if we took my lub-a-dub and her lub-a-dub and put them together we'd have a full lub-a-dub. When she saw my stickies she asked me why I had it and I told her my lub-a-dub was sick too. I told her this yesterday, but seeing the stickies really made it dawn on her, and the smile was priceless. At the end of that second visit I made the promise I'd never get to keep. I asked Kylie how she'd like it if once she got her lub-a-dub and she felt better, I'd come back and play with her. She said okay and I promised her I would. 

I visited Kylie whenever I was in Salt Lake. Each visit was a little bit shorter. Kylie was shy, and not feeling good. But we still had fun. She let me sniff a book with her. And we played a little.
My last visit was in November. She was in the CICU by then. When I arrived a nurse was drawing blood and she was in a chair with her back towards the door. I gave her mommy diet mountain dew and she was grateful because she hadn't been able to find one all day. I told Kylie that once she was done with the blood draw I had a gift for her. I talked with her mom about how my appointments went and how Kylie was doing. Kylie kept turning around looking at me, like she remembered me but she was shy. So I just stood there behind her. Once the nurse pulled out the tube Kylie immediately turned around and said "she's done!" The nurse hadn't even stood up yet but Kylie was ready for her gift.

So I walked around and crouched in front of her and noticed how swollen her body was it broke my heart. But I put on a big smile and held out a gift card and asked if she knew what is was. She didn't. I said I knew she recently got an Ipad that all her heart family pitched in for, and I knew how much she loved it. So I gave her a Itunes gift card so she could go on a shopping spree. I gave her the gift card and told her I wanted her to buy whatever she wanted that mommy said was okay. Mommy said Kylie got what she wanted and I smiled. I told Kylie and her mommy I was glad I got to see them and left not wanting to intrude to long. 

About 2 and half months later Kylie passed away. She got the ultimate lub-a-dub in Heaven. And that was the end of the promise. I never got to go play with her again. My Salt Lake visits will never be the same. I went to the funeral and got to say goodbye, but I'm heart broken. That was one promise I really, really wanted to keep. I miss that beautiful girl.