Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Mother

I've decided it's time since it's almost mothers day, that I should tell you about my mother. My mother is my rock, my support, my second hero (my dad's my first.) My mother loved me before I was even born. And even more after. She's been by my side through everything. She's the one who knew there was something wrong before the doctors even did.

When the doctor told her there was something wrong with her daughters heart, she didn't give up on me, she said okay how do we fix it. She sat in waiting rooms while I was in surgeries waiting for updates. She sat by my bedside while I recovered in the hospital.  She did everything she could for me all while still taking care of my brother who was 3.

Mothers day 1991 was my moms worst mothers day. That mothers day, may 12th, I was admitted to the hospital. I needed my first open heart surgery which wasn't suppose to happen til I was 3 years of age. But I was only 1 1/2. May 13th I went into surgery and my mother and father sat in the waiting room, praying. They did the glenn, but it failed. They couldn't get me off bypass, my heart just wouldn't beat. So they had to do go to a different procedure, whose name I don't know. But still, they couldn't get me off bypass. My heart still wouldn't beat. At this point my mom and dad began to pray that if I was going to die, it would be fast and painless. But the surgeon had one last option. It was called the fontan and it was pretty new. They didn't have very high hopes for it, but it was all they could do. By the grace of God, the fontan worked, my heart finally began beating.

(My mother and me June 16th 1991)

But because I had been on bypass so long there was swelling in my brain. I had a massive seizure and they had to keep me in a coma for 2 weeks. All the while my mom sat by my bed. I finally woke up after the two weeks but still had a long way to go. Luckily I didn't have brain damage. On June 16th, 1991, fathers day I was finally able to come home.

(my mom, me, and my dad) shortly after my surgery)

After I got to come home our lives went back to normal. My mom took care of me and my brother and held a part time job while my dad worked full time. She got up every morning and made sure I got my medications and my brother and I ate. She did everything a good mother did. Once a year she drove me to Chicago for my yearly cardiology appointment. When I was around the age of six my dad was diagnosed with Acute Myloid Leukemia. She kept on doing what she did and began going with  him to appointments. She took care of not only me and my brother but now my father too. She held the house together when my father was in the hospital. She was our rock. After my father died she took on another roll, mother and father. She held us all together, comforted me and my brother and worked. She was strong for all of us.

When I got out of control as a teenager (we didn't know about my bipolar or borderline personality then) she did everything she could to try and keep me under control and help me. We fought a lot, but she did it because she cared.

(my mother and I 2008 highschool graduation)

Eventually things got better. As we entered a new stage of life, things got even rougher. I hadn't been feeling to well for around a year, so in late 2008 I had a cardiology appointment and found out I needed yet another surgery. I was in severe heart failure so I moved back in with my mother. She supported me and gave me a place to live yet again. She was nervous and anxious but tried to never show it and just support me.
( my mother and I early 2009)

As we waited, she did everthing she could for me. And finally surgery came. July 24th 2009. She was by my side the entire time. She came every morning bringing me whatever I needed. She helped with everything. She even had to wash my hair for 6 weeks. And she did it without complaint. She made my bed, and did my laundry and did everything for me for those 6 weeks.

(my mother and me, mothers day 2010)

In September of 2011 I was admitted to the hospital here in town the day before she had knee surgery. The day after she had knee surgery I was transfered to Salt Lake City and she got in her car, had her mom drive so she wouldn't mess up her knee and was on her way. She came to visit me every day of 4 day stay even though she had to use a wheel chair to get around.

As the time has passed she still supports me. I live with her while I fight for disability. She pays for almost everything and is happy to do it because I'm still here. I know one day I'll be able to pay her back, but right now it just sucks. I'm 22 and she shouldn't have to do this for me. She is amazing. I've recently been in constent pain. I see a rheumatologist on the 25th and pray they can figure it out and help. But while I wait she has been a huge help. Even though she has constent back pain and had knee surgery she still tries to make sure I'm okay. When I wake up in to much pain she brings my pills to me so I don't have to get up.

I cant say enough good things about her, she is awesome, strong, beautiful and so much more. I love her.


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