Crazy Annoying Questions I get

Crazy questions I get when I tell people about my heart.

Some of these questions have been asked to other CHDers also. I asked for their input. Thanks ladies!

1- Can you have sex?
Can you?

2- Can you have children?

This can, at times, be an incredibly touchy subject for me. All I have ever wanted to be was a mother. I've had gas station attendants ask me when they see my scar and ask what it is. Seriously!? I don't even know you're name. Just don't ask. It's none of your business.

3- How are you alive?
This is asked by like every single person. You've seen the scars. Surgeries, lots of surgeries.

4- You're to young to have these issues, to take the meds, to have a chart this big.

So on and so on. A lot of people say it with sympathy, which I guess is suppose to be nice, but when you hear it over and over again you sometimes just want to scream "shut up!" Illness's don't discriminate. And seriously, when a doctor says this, I just want to up and leave the room.

5- Are you going to die?/shouldn't you be dead?

Yup wait a second, I'll get right on that.

6- You're fixed now right?

After surgeries we get this a lot. No, just no. There is no cure.

7- You just need exercise and a good diet and you'll be ok.

 No, this isn't acquired heart disease.  We get a lot of unwanted advice. 

8- What's that on your chest?

Uhm, my boobs? Oh you mean this awesome scar I rock? Oh yeah my chest was cracked open.

9- You've had this your whole life and you still haven't found a heart yet?

Sigh, how many times do I need to say THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

10- I'm so sorry.

Don't feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for myself, you shouldn't either. 

11- You don't look sick

I know, I'm beautiful.

12- Be happy you're alive. 

First off I am extremely grateful to be alive. BUT I am allowed my days where I can be in a bad mood. I'm allowed to be frustrated and mad at times.

13- Don't you want to cover that up?

Referring to our scar. Some of us are extremely proud of our scars and love wearing shirts that show them off. No, we aren't ashamed, no we do not want to cover that up! You don't like it, don't look. 

14- Should you be doing that?

I know my limits, leave me alone. 

15-Would you still have sex?

This was asked after I said I wanted to adopt. Okay, seriously? Sex isn't just for making babies.

16- How long have you had it

The definition of congenital is "Of or relating to a condition that is present at birth"

17- I wish that I didn't have to work.

Shut up no you don't. Seriously I would love to be able to work! Being on disability is NOT fun. 

18- You're so brave.

For living my life? This is all I've ever known. I've had no choice. 

19- You're so lucky.

For being a live. Oh yeah, I LOVE having my chest cracked open and taking a ton of medication just to live. CHD life's a blast.

20- I'd never be able to do it/ I don't know how you do it.

Its called living. Breath in, Breath out.

21- You'd be fun to dissect.
My dentist said this to me during an exam. Way to make yourself seem even creepier dude.

22-What happened.

When they learn I'm on disability or see my scar.  "Oh you know, my chest just popped open!"

23- You can do that?
I just did. 

24- Why don't you sleep more at night?
Asked because we are tired a lot. I already sleep 10 hours, I cant stay in bed all day.

25- If you have sex will you die?
Don't worry you're not that good.


We also get a lot of no one will want to marry you because you cant have kids. No one is going to want to marry you because you cant have sex as much as he is gonna want. First off, why are you saying that? Do you know you are a terrible person? Secondly, if that's the way he is gonna act, you don't want him in your life anyway! You will find someone who loves you for you. Loves you even if you can't have kids, or sex every other hour. Don't settle for less.

Now I'm not this snarky in person, I answer honestly and with patience. I just really wish I could say some of these things. Seriously people! Think! If you wouldn't want me to ask you a question, don't ask me!

Frustrated.

Lets talk dating here. I'm single, and a lot of people don't seem to understand that it is not by choice! I would love to find my one true love and settle done. But I haven't found him yet, he's probably lost. 

So I have been on a dating sight, don't judge me.

I swear you can't meet anyone in person, and when you do meet people in person, well, lets just say they are someone you'd rather not meet. So I have been talking to this really nice guy for about a month or so now. About 2 weeks ago or so I told him about most of my issues. Today, I get a message from him saying "its to much to take on" and that he "can't do it"

Wait what!?

Okay here's the deal, I don't mind people not being able to deal with it. Totally fine by me, I appreciate the truth. What bugs me is that he waited 2 weeks to tell me. Why are you wasting my time? I can understand a day or 2 but seriously? 2 weeks. I wished him good luck and went on my way.