Let's Day Dream

So I wanted to write, and I had no idea what to write, so I asked my facebook friends for suggestions. 

My friend asked me: What would your life be like if you didn't have a CHD?

At first, I didn't think I could answer that. This is all I've ever known, and you know what, it isn't a bad life! Its actually really good! I may have days where I hate it, but its brought about so much good in my life and I couldn't imagine life without it. 

But then I started day dreaming.

What would life be like!?

Maybe I'd be married, and maybe I'd be a mommy. 

Maybe I'd be running marathons! In the past year, all I've wanted to do was be able to run!

I know for sure I wouldn't be in Idaho. I would have a full time job and living on my own, maybe in Chicago. Salt Lake and Spokane wouldn't even have been an option. 

At that's when it hits me, knowing those places wont be an option. I can't imagine never meeting all the wonderful people from Spokane and Utah. I can't imagine never know all the wonderful CHD families I've met in person, and online all over the world. 

I stop day dreaming. If I can't know these people, and I know for a fact I wouldn't know them if I didn't have a CHD, I don't want to imagine.

CHD is hard, so very hard. Its scary, and at times, its a true nightmare.

There is so much heart break in the CHD community.
But at times, there are triumphs to. And those we celebrate. 

There are things I cant do, that I really wish I could. But, its my life. 

There is so much love and support in this "heart family" 

I wouldn't want it any other way.

My Advice to CHDers: It's okay.

I've had a lot of CHD parents I met, in person and online ask me "What advice would you give me?"

Recently I visited a mom in the hospital who asked that exact question. My answer is always, "treat them normal, they will know their limits." I also added to my advice, "You will never regret fighting for him (her). (S)he is worth it." It made me start wondering what would I say to a CHDer as advice. I thought about it for a while and I think I figured it out. So here it is.

It's okay.

It's okay to be scared. CHD is very scary and it is OKAY to be scared. There is a quote I like, before there can be courage there must be fear. 

It's okay to cry. Tears are not a sign of weakness, tears are a sign of weakness leaving your body. It is 100% okay to cry. Some days you might hurt, or be scared and all you can do is cry. That is okay!

It's okay to not like your scar. Some CHD parents say that us CHDers should be proud of our scars. Personally, I am, I like showing off my scars. But I do understand what its like to not like it. Because as I kid, I didn't like mine.  I understand how it can bring back memories of a really painful time in your life. It's okay to want to hide it. Its okay to not want to show it off. Its also okay if you do want to show it off.

It's okay to be angry and wonder why me. Life isn't fair, we learn that at a young age and its okay to be upset. Just know God gave you this special heart because you ARE  strong enough to handle it.

This life is hard, and its scary. You will learn your limits and there may be a few things you cant do because of your heart. But know your heart doesn't define you. You have CHD, CHD does not have you.
Your life can and will be AMAZING!