Waiting for a date, yet again.

I live in a world where the government just doesn't seem to want to let me succeed. 

October 2008 I found out I needed another life saving open heart surgery, so I immediately applied for medicaid. I got denied with this exact quote "Idaho medicaid has NOTHING to do with your health." So I applied for disability. I needed some way to pay for my surgery. I got denied right away and appealed. Yet another denial. I cant tell you how many times I got denied before we decided to go to court.

All the while I had my surgery. My doctor wanted it done as soon as possible. My heart failure was bad. And I went into debt, about half a million in debt. Months turned into years of waiting. I had to file bankruptcy because people where threatening to sue. 

Mid 2011, 3 years after applying I got the notice that my court date was set. August 3rd 2011. I was excited, and nervous all at the same time. What if I lost? These people had my life in their hands, its a very stressful experience. August 3rd finally came and I went to my court date. As soon as I got there my lawyer was waiting had good news for me. The judge reviewed my case and knew right away he would give it to me. We didn't have to go through with the hearing, but they wanted to, because my lawyer had a trainee with him and they wanted to let her practice. I was just so excited I won I didn't care I had to go through this fake hearing. 

I got home and started waiting for my first payment, they said it could take 6 months. But it never came. What came instead was a letter from the social security administration (SSA) saying they where appealing my case. So I waited about 7 months and nothing happened. Until today. 

I talked to my lawyer today (finally) turns out they had my number wrong that's why they hadn't called back. We talked, and she said yes, I won my first case, and yes sometimes the SSA do pull cases and review them to make sure you still deserve your money. But she has never seen them do it this fast. They pulled my case only 2 months after winning. This has never happened before. I asked her how long I will have to wait for a hearing and if there is anything I can do to speed this up. I have been waiting since 2008 after all.

She couldn't even tell me an average wait time because again, this has never happened before. So I sit here in the dark and pray. Pray I get a judge who understands how badly I need this. Pray someone wants to help me. Pray I can win and finally get my life on course. Pray that soon I'll get money and be able to live on my own again.

Pray that I have the strength to do this all over again.