Lies the Doctor Told Me

So tonight I thought I'd do a fun little post.

Lies the Doctor Told Me

It will taste like rootbeer
As a kid I kept getting a lot of tummy aches so they sent me to the hospital to get a stumach test. They wanted to make sure my open heart surgery didn't flip my stumach. I had to drink a this dye for the test, they told me it would taste like rootbeer. LIARS! It tasted like chalky shit!

You'll feel some pressure
When I was having rythmn issues last september I went to the ER. They wanted to do this one test to diagnosis what it might be. They would give me a drug that would stop my heart for a second. I had this drug three times before, I knew it would be more then pressure. But I didn't say anything, maybe theirs was better. NOPE! Pressure my ass! That was the worst pain ever. When I told the doctor that he looked at me and said "well, now I know what to tell the other patients."

This will make you drowsy
Not really a lie, but they sure forgot to tell me what else the drug would do. When I was in the hospital in september I kept getting really nauseated so they decided to give me phenergan. They told me it would probably make me sleep. What they didn't tell me was that it would hit me so fast I wouldn't be able t finish the text I was writing when they injected it. Without a lot of errors that is. They also forgot to tell me I'd find myself staring at the TV with my mouth wide open, who knows how long later. They also didn't tell me that once I realized my mouth was open and my tounge was dry, I wouldn't be able to figure out how to move my tongue for a good 5 minutes.

This will make you drowsy
While I waited for my open heart surgery back in late 2008 early 2009 I got really stressed. So much so I got stress hives and had to go to the doctor to get a steroid shot in the but. They told me that the shot I got was going to knock me on my ass. So much so I wasn't allowed to drive myself home (even though I lived 2 minutes away). Liars, I was up all day!

This wont hurt a bit/ You wont feel a thing
I don't remember any specific experiences for this one but we've all been there. A doctor goes to give you a shot or do some exam and says "no worries you wont feel a thing" or "this wont hurt a bit." But it almost always does.

We wont vent you
I had a cardiac cath in october 2008. They told me all they would do. I ask if I'd be vented. They told me no, this is just a simple procedure we don't need to vent you. Liars! I woke up with a sore throat and looked at my nurse. She told me I was coughing so hard I was waking myself up. So not exactly their fault, but still.